How to Deal with Conflict
Do you feel you are stuck in a disagreement with another?
Do you have friends or family fighting with each other?
Do you believe that you will never see eye to eye with someone you know?
If so, you are not alone. Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult to get on with another individual or group? Why is there so much conflict in the world?
Relationships, countries and civilisations have disappeared due to conflict. There must be some reason that the greatest relationships, countries and civilisations have been destroyed.
There is. They have fallen apart because of a natural law. This law has been hidden.
This would seem to be due to the fact that it is very easy to see two individuals/ groups/ countries fighting. They are very visible. What is harder to see or suspect is that a third party created and actively promoted the conflict.
This law could be phrased as:
WHILE IT IS COMMONLY BELIEVED TO TAKE TWO TO MAKE A FIGHT, A THIRD PARTY MUST EXIST AND MUST DEVELOP IT FOR ACTUAL CONFLICT TO OCCUR.
OR
A THIRD PARTY MUST BE PRESENT AND UNKNOWN IN EVERY QUARREL FOR A CONFLICT TO EXIST.
The usually unsuspected and “reasonable” third party, the bystander who denies any part of it, is the one who brought the conflict into existence in the first place. The hidden third party, seeming at times to be a supporter of only one side, is to be found as the instigator.
This is the cause of personal arguments, strikes and even war. It a useful law in many areas of life.
One sees two people shouting each other. No one else is around. So they, of course, “caused the fight.” But there was a third party. Tracing this thid party down you come across incredible data. That is the trouble. The incredible is too easily rejected. One way to hide things is to make them incredible.
For example, Michelle and Dave are dating, their relationship was going well and they got engaged, however they then started arguing. Both think this is because the other is not ready to commit and get married. This does not stop the arguing as both are ready to commit.
So why are they fighting?
Dave’s best mate, Russell, is jealous. He has wanted to date Michelle since she first met Dave. He is telling both that the other cannot commit. He is also making up stories. He tells Michelle that when he was out with Dave, Dave started hitting on another girl. He tells Dave that he has seen Michelle out with another man on a date. He keeps this going knowing that if he is not discovered, they will split up.
As another example, Dave and Eddie are directors in a successful small business employing 50 people. They constantly argue about how to grow the business and achieve its targets. Each blames the other for not achieving their own target. Neither one is correct, so the argument does not resolve.
So why are they fighting?
The true cause is the third director, Mike. Mike wants to acquire their shares cheaply by making it difficult for them to work together and so want to leave. He independently tells both that the other one is under-performing. He invents mistakes that haven’t been made. If he loses a client, he tells Dave that it was Eddie and vice-versa.
This is damaging the business but Mike wants it all to himself so is willing to take the loss in profits to get the other two to give up.
If you look over personal quarrels or group conflicts, if you search for a third party, you will find the person who is keeping the fight going.
This is very useful.
When applying it, one is looking for a person. If two people quarrelling look for the third party they will find them. Usually once found, the two people arguing simply shun the third party.
This rule might be thought to indicate that there are no bad conditions that cause conflict. There are bad conditions, but these can usually be remedied through conversation and meetings. If they cannot, there is usually someone creating and keeping the argument going.
You can find out more in the booklet, How to Resolve Conflict. Get your copy today here!